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No sex?

One of my boyfriends, friend has been dating a girl on and off for about 3 years. They just had sex with each other for the first time, in the last couple of months. I always felt like their relationship wasn’t healthy, and I thought it was very weird they weren’t even trying to sleep with each other? As a couple dating for a while you would think sex would be pretty important, but to them it was almost like they were ignoring it.

Every relationship is different and the only thing friends of that certain couple known are what is told to them. Our generation is a a huge "hook up culture" where sex is portrayed basically 1st base. Therefore knowing a couple hasn't had sex in 3 years makes it seem like a huge deal depending on the person. There are many factors that could explain why that couple waited so long however it's only their business and they don't need to tell anyone about it despite how "weird" it may seem to others.

Sex isn't everything in a relationship, yet many people think it's the one important thing. I knew a couple who was together for a long time, and had never had sex. This guy was very adamant about saving sex till marriage, and eventually this girl was not having it. They eventually separated. I respect this guy for sticking with what he wants in a relationship. Yes, sex is important, but respecting others choices is also a huge part of the relationship.

I think that sex can bring a lot of couples closer together, but it's not necessarily the one thing that a relationship should be based on. Personally, I wouldn't wait that long, but every relationship is different and unique in it's own way. Just because they hadn't had sex yet doesn't mean that there is any less attraction or validity to their relationship than to a couple who had sex on the first date. It's all about preference and respect. As long as there is trust, communication and respect within a relationship, then it's healthy - whether they have had sex or not does not determine the strength of the bond between them.

Honestly it is easy to judge a relationship from the outside looking in based off of your personal experiences but it is important to keep in mind that not every situation is going to be the same as your own, especially when it comes to sex. For a lot of people, sex is a serious thing and it takes a lot for them to give it up to someone, some even think it is so special it should be saved for marriage, and for other it isn't the same seriousness. Basically, the sum of it is that it can be easy to judge a relationship based off of the small amount you see, and your own experiences but it is also important to keep in mind that there may be is so much more going on than you know or will ever know, and there seeing as you don't personally know both parties of the relationship exceptionally well, you just have to have a little trust that they are keeping their relationship healthy in other ways, other than sex, because not every relationship is the same.

We are different in our relationships, and I don't think it's anyone place to judge. Not everyone feels the need to sleep with someone early in the relationship. I think if they just enjoy being with each other without having sex then good for them. No one actually knows what goes on between those two people other than themselves so I feel like, since it doesn't personally affect you, it shouldn't matter.

There could be many different reasons why they weren't trying to have sex for the first 3 years. Maybe one of them wasn't ready, maybe they knew that being on and off would make having sex harder, maybe they wanted to really know each other before having sex, and many other reasons. Sex is not always important in a relationship, actually, I believe relationships are better and stronger if sex isn't an important factor.

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